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Entry #128

Why I Think Fable 2 Sucks

9/10/13 by Mismo
Updated 9/22/13

I don't like Fable 2, in matter fact I fucking hate the game. But I know that merely saying that I hate something don't justify it. So because I'm bored and got nothing better to do apparently, I'm going describe why Ithink Fable 2 sucks. So have in mind that this is my personal opinion and that doesn't necessarily make it a fact. It most likely is though since I actually have some goddamn taste but I can be wrong. Maybe Fable 2 is a great game and cows are the descanted from aliens that once lived on the moon, but has since then moved on to another solar system because we earthlings we're such pesky neighbors. What was I talking about? Oh yes Fable 2.

I would also like to point out that this criticism is only directed towards Fable 2. I haven't played neither Fable 1 or 3, but if they're anything like the second installment they're probably also shit.

Issue 1 - Easy as fuck: This a weird complaint coming from me actually, since I never bother complaining about the difficulty in a game no matter if it's easy or hard. But the difficulty in Fable 2 is just downright insulting. Every starter enemy is so piss shit easy I could probably just have stared them to death. Then as the goes own you become way to overpowered, especially if you focus on magic. So I could easily tap the B button and read Watchmen (that way I at least get some entertainment out of it) and some guy was lucky enough to land a hit own me. Also infinite ammo... Seriously? I know it's supposed to be a "fairytale" RPG, but does that really mean we have sacrifice all sense of realism? It's too easy to get the best weapons in the game, since they're all bought in stores and taking up any job will land you a fortune big enough to buy a small country, which I'm not mistaken is what you actually sort of can do sometime in the post-end game. Any way... So since you can gain huge amounts of money early in the game you can get the best weapons available right at once, and because you infinite ammo you can just kill almost any enemy from a safe distance. Speaking of money...

Issue 2 - I don't want to work for my money!: Now I call back of the fairytale argument people are so fond of playing. If are going to sacrifice realism for the sake of making it feel like a fairytale couldn't have cut out the fucking jobs! Or at the very least make adventuring a little bit more profiting than hammering on an anvil down at the smith shop. So that's a big short coming. Adventuring have no real reward to it, and going on random adventures feels hollow and uneventful. Adventuring in it's self doesn't support itself and thus you have to have a real job to be able keep on your with adventuring hobby. That's a realism that one should want in an RPG, nonetheless a "fairytale" RPG. I want to raid dungeons and collect treasures and fabled relics (lol "fabled"), not work nine to five to be able to support my silly adventuring hobby and a family I don't care about.

Issue 3 - Family Issues: I'm not against having a wife and family in RPG games, hell the Skryim DLC "Heartfire" is one of the coziest experience I've had in a game. But unlike the familes in Skyrim where you can see them when you want to. The families in Fable 2 are demanding as fuck calling you home for bullshit reason while your fighting undeads and other monstrosities. Always complaining about I'm a bad father and that I should take better care of our son. Well fuck you random NPC I happened to chat up on the street because I was a horny teenage boy at the time I played this game, I just happen to have a lot on my plate right now. Like for instance yesterday I murdered a whole village and the guys that ask me to do it didn't seem to appreciate me for it, also I've been meaning to avenge my sisters death and have to work at the smith everyday to save up money for that Deus Ex Machina weapons they've been selling lately. So please don't take to much offense when I say that I couldn't give a shit about your "feelings". Oh you don't like me any more that's it? Have some money bitch, oh look you love me again... Fucking whore.

So yeah having a family is nice and all, but like the job thing it's a absurd realism you could do with out when all you really want is to kill a village or two.

Issue 4 - Childish depiction of good and evil: This I get is mostly personal taste but it really annoys me how stupid the good and evil choices are. It lacks depth and emotional impact. Good and evil choices literally are only kill or don't kill choices, with no thought put in behind them. I guess since apparently it is a "fairlytale" RPG that can be understanding that as an evil guy you eat baby chickens (literally) and being good is just a boring stereotypical hero nice guy that wait until the third date to hold hands. But since this my complaint I want my morale choices to have a little more depth than "don't do this because that is mean". What annoys me more is that they set up situation where it could be a choice that isn't a black and white situation whereas the can actually be at least a gray area. Example, you are faced with the decision of killing a guy that has lost his mind or sparing. Now you may think "aha the complexity lies in that if you spare him you will yourself be subjugated to torture but if you kill him you will just get a pat on the back and can keep on with you daily life". No, that's not all that complex. What I mean is that they could have give us more personal reason why we would want spare him or kill him. He has clearly lost his mind and is beyond help, isn't putting him out if his misery a bigger act of kindness than letting him live like this? Maybe I hate this guy and want him to suffer. Maybe I can't bring myself to killing him because I come to like him so much. Maybe I hate him so much I jump to chance of killing him resulting in a chaotic evil reaction to scenario. But nope, no insight is giving and is only based on the moral of "durp, killing is always wrong and you should feel bad for killing him". First of why? He voluntered to be guard of the most evil fuckers around he can't be all that much better than all those bandit I butcher every time I go out of town. Some which spurts of dialog of regret of their life choices BUT NOOOO this guy is special.

So that's a problem, moral situations doesn't give me enough insight into the dilemma to care. They just serves as a way to fill up karma meter. Since most choices don't really matter. Yes the effect can be shown in some instances but it lacks impact since nobody seems really care any way. And don't say "but the NPC react to your karma" because that is so hollow is ridiculous. It's not hard to make all NPC react in a certain depending on what kind of karma you have. "Oh here's sunny peace village I bet if I'm good they like me a lot, but oh no the rapist in this other think I'm a wuss. Oh the complexity of morales"

Issue 5 - NPCs and characters

The none story NPCs are basically copy pasted version of each other, having no personality whatsoever. Just going about their daily life spewing the lines over and over and over. These people are not interesting people I'd like to know more about, they're set pieces that happens to be fuckable.

The story NPCs are uninteresting, unimaginative and gosh darn unimpressive. The none story NPCs I can give a little break for being boring since they don't really have an important part to play in the story. But the ones that are tied into with the story, those I should care about. I should want to have them with me. I should want to know more about them. But sadly I don't if the opportunity presented itself I would sacrifices them all without blinking an eye lid.

Issue 6 - That fucking pee trail: I'm not all against having something in games that can show you where you supposed to go. Skyrim has one to but it doesn't bother me at all. But Fable 2 have a fucking yellow pee trail which impossible to ignore. I know I don't have follow it, but the game it feels like the game keeps telling I'm going the wrong way, and if I'm actually going to where to pee is leading it's like it won't allow me find my own path to the destination. That the pee way is the only way. I don't you pointing out where I supposed to go that alright for me, but must you really guide me the whole way there?

Issue 7 - The game thinks it's funny: We all love humor. I love humor. Be it subtle or in your face humor, I like it. But I don't like it when a comedian repeat the same joke over and over. Sure the first three times it might work because the joke is still fresh. But then around the fourth time it's starting become a little weary. I still think it's funny, but I've already heard it three time before and it's hard to react to the same the same way you did the first time. Then around the 100th time you don't think it's funny any more, actually it's become annoying and you kind of wish the comedian could do another joke.

Fable 2 have some jokes, some of the funny I admit around the first four times. But sooner or later it will not be as funny any more, it will be annoying and I will start to make jokes upon your old worn joke to mock. Like a villager says "It sure is good there a few diseases around here, considering we don't wash ourself" to which I snarkly reply "I like'em dirty".

Also it references it self. Don't do that. You don't see many comedians saying things like "Do you guys remember when I said that funny thing?". No you don't and do you know why? Because referencing yourself is the stupidest and unfunny thing ever!

That's pretty much it though, at least what I think of. I could perhaps say that the story is crap but since I brought up Skyrim as a counter example that would hardly be fair. But any way if you don't agree with my opinions that okay, but don't just tell me I'm a retarded inbreed asshole (or something equally as disproportional mean) tell why you think I'm wrong in a good and well put manner so that I can call you a retarded inbreed asshole.

Don't really know how to end this post... Nipple fuck!


Comments

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NorNor

9/15/13

Yeah it also is so linear and it feels like in trying to make it more social... they kinda made it less social.
It was the worst of the fables, fable 1 being the best and a very good game


NorNor

9/11/13

I didnt really like it either, but fable 3 was worse

9/12/13 Mismo responds:

I gathered as much. From what I've heard it has pretty much all the issues I've mentioned and then some.